Wednesday, 13 May 2020

Covid Chronicles; The Postponed Wedding


                                                            Jane Bechtel
                                                                                    Humanist Celebrant
Humanist Society Scotland

13.05.2020

Obviously, my working life mostly revolves around wedding couples.
I meet them and hear their stories, find out who they are; who their families and friends are, and how they imagine their wedding day will feel.

This may be as much as two years before their chosen date.
A date chosen so all their family can be there, from other countries, continents, deployments or shifts.

A date that might mark the anniversary of sadly passed but much loved grandparents, whose wedding bands this young couple will exchange 60 years to the day since they were last used to embody new marriage vows pledged between young lovers.

A date where their carefully chosen local venue, favourite band, photographer, piper, caterer and celebrant are all free, all excitedly booked, all prep'ed, able and willing to make this pivotal day in their lives as special and as representative of who they are as a couple, as we possibly can.

A date on which they can not now get married.

For guests a wedding is coming together, celebrating life, love, family & friends. Shared joy in the love that two people - we love - have found.
Fun & chat, too much drink & food, an excuse to buy a frock, get our hair done up - or let it down...and maybe for some guests moving a wedding it is not much more than the unfortunate postponement of a party when there are far more important things to think about.

But for many couples it is much more than a party that they have lost this year.

My couples tell me about not only how their wedding will be, but what they are looking forward to in the life and marriage that will follow that day, a day they are so excited about and that they just cannot wait for.

They have thought long and hard about what is important to them not just on that day, but in the future too, and written their vows accordingly. They have considered how to include their children or parents in their ceremony. They have poured over plans and saved their money, been measured for outfits, and had a countdown clock on their fridge for the ‘Big Day’...a big day that will not now be as they imagined.

A much anticipated marker of the joy in their lives has shifted and is forever changed. A date now marked by stress over whether or not it can go ahead? and if they do move it – when will be safe? Might it have to move again?

…and saddest of all, will there be guests who will now never get to share that long imagined moment with them, and whose absence may change everything about how they will feel about their Wedding Day. 
The original day & their new one.

I cried a little on the 9th of May. 
The couple I should have been marrying that afternoon shared a film with me compiled of clips from all their friends and family, to remind them that they are loved - and by more than just each other - and that the loss they were feeling that day was not forgotten or unimportant, no matter what else might be going on in the world.

Such warmth in that gesture. Such kindness in acknowledging that while others might be in more difficult circumstances, that does not make your feelings about your now strangely empty day any less valid.

None of us truly know how folk are dealing with what is happening in their lives, especially just now, so be kind whenever the opportunity arises.


Wednesday, 12 June 2019

Midsummer Woodland Wedding at Murthly



Both these fantastic pictures by Anna Urban

Lovely reminder just appeared from this time last year,of this stunning international occasion held for Mila & Christie up in the woods beside Murthly Castle.

The whole event was set to reflect their national colours - including me!
The ceremony was in two languages throughout, with colour coded Orders of Ceremony containing translations of most of the words spoken, so that neither the Portuguese or the English speakers would miss any of the ceremony, should that bit be delivered in the other tongue.

It took a lot of work from Mila to get that all accomplished, but I think if you had asked either of their grandmothers on the day, they would have told you it was well worth the effort!

Whole article and lots more photos in the 'Love my Dress' website can be seen here:  Love My Dress


Monday, 8 April 2019

Harriet & James at the Atholl Palace Hotel




 


Hi Jane,
I hope you are well...It honestly doesn't seem four months since the wedding!

We cannot thank you enough for helping us plan and deliver the most personal and beautiful ceremony...We have had so many compliments from our family and friends about how fantastic you were and we completely agree.
Our aim for the day was to celebrate our marriage with everyone we love but most importantly to have fun! 
We definitely managed that and a few of our photographs really capture the fun side too which I think you will appreciate!!
We could not have asked for someone more engaging, fun and kind to play such an important part in our day. 
With huge thanks and best wishes,
Harriet and James

 

Hi Guys, Lovely to hear from you, and Lovely photos - thank you so much for sending them through.  I can't quite believe that it's been four months yet either...

I'm very grateful too for your kind words. Really....as well as a bit 'Aw Shucks'...😏

It was properly fun to work with you both, and that came through on the day I think - along with a good bit your own characters in the stories and tone we went with. 
It definitly shows in the pictures too - and I suspect the party & speeches were headed down the same line!!

I would like to say thank you (again!) though, not just for choosing to work with me (and letting me put this on my blog!) but for really getting involved in getting the ceremony right. 

I can only give back what I’m given - if that makes sense? - so to get it right, it really needed you both to engage and put your own stamp on it…
I really think it was worth the effort though, and you did fab work - as well as making my job a LOT easier!!
Hugs and best wishes to you both, and no doubt see you soon-ish somewhere!

Xxx     Jane


Friday, 8 March 2019

Handfast Demonstration

Got together with my local colleagues the other week, and we all made new information and introduction films, with the cheerful, able and capable help of David Gillan the videographer ...that's him on the bottom left of my team selfie!


I suspect you'll find many of these fabby films on Facebook if you go hunting for Humanist Society Scotland Celebrants...but as I don't use Facebook for my work at all - you get to see my handfasting demonstration below.

I did another film just before the holidays with Dave too (which is the one you probably just saw on my HSS Profile) and though I do find speaking to camera super awkward, it gave me the confidence to just be myself and go for it with the handfasting one...and while neither are by any means perfect or particularly polished - they really are me just being my celebrant self, which I like! (there can be slightly more swearing when I'm being my non celebrant self!)

 

https://www.davidgillanphotography.co.uk/









Here is a photo of the final infinity knot / eternity symbol - odd colours I know, but it means that you can properly see what each strand does. Hope this was helpfull!

Sunday, 25 November 2018

Winter Sunshine

Hey folks,

Not a proper post, but a bit of fun...and some information too...

I'm off on holiday till mid December, and don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring their e-mails, so if you do get in touch, I'll get back to you as soon as I can - but unless it's urgent (hogmanay ceremony anyone!??) it will be after that.

Meantime, two movies for you to watch:
The first is all sorts of fun that was had at the wedding reception for Mel & Colin in the summer...but just in case you think that the cartwheeling celebrant just does comedy shows (yes that was me)...
I've added in the 'real' wedding film too, which gives a more realistic impression of the ceremony side of the day.
It was a properly tear filled and heartfelt occasion, beautiful words, and beautiful music too, and yes there was fun in the ceremony too, but it all revolved around who these two are as a couple - and music and fun and NOT taking life too seriously is a big part of that.

Hope you all stay cosy while I'm washing the last 6 months screen time out of my eyes by staring at the sea, and refreshing my mind with a few bad spy novels.

Thank you to Colin & Mel for letting me share these AND Mel's son for aceing the photobomb!









  




Best wishes, hope you enjoyed the films...x j






Venue was Murthly Castle Chapel: Murthly Castle


Ceremony &  'Marryoke'  produced by 'Watch the birdie' films: Geoff at Watch the birdie

Sunday, 27 May 2018

Don't Tell the Bride...


Apparently it was seven years ago today I married John & Jackie Clark, amid much drama and hilarity, trying to work round camera crews and all the rest of it - as well as a ridiculous amount of hanging about...

I haven't watched it all this time round, but did skip through to the parachute jump, and the ceremony...via the best man modelling the dress...and then had to watch to the end.

 Don't tell the Bride Program Link

If you know how the program worked, you'll know that I spent a lot of time with John, and didn't meet Jackie until just before the ceremony, so we had to be really careful with the vows, as we didn't want to make her repeat or say anything she hadn't been involved in, so we kept it super simple - but that of course was made up for by the fact that everything else was pretty OTT.

Loved these two dafties - and they went on to do some great media work for the HSS afterwards, which was done with real conviction...humanists in every aspect of their lives.

Congratulations and happy anniversary to you both!


Friday, 27 April 2018

Holiday Note

Hiya folks,
Quick message today - I'm heading off on holiday for 10 days, a pre-season break!
...BUT I understand that the vacation response from my Humanist Society Scotland e-mail may not get to you if you enquire via the HSS website - so please don't think I'm ignoring you!
I'll respond to anything urgent pretty quickly, and be back in touch on anything else as soon as I can.
Hope you have a great holiday weekend! J





Photo by my awesome sister...I just wish I knew what the Stag was thinking!