How it all works

There is no strict right or wrong way of putting the ceremony together, but I suspect you want to know how I usually go about things, so I'll start with a summary of the facts, and how it might all work. 

Humanist Weddings are fully Legal in Scotland, and can take place at any time and anywhere, and the location doesn't need a civic licence of any sort.

We require all our Wedding couples to join the Humanist Society Scotland, which you can do on our website. These funds go toward helping support the societies work in education and human rights, as well as campaigns we might be involved in, at home or overseas.

The first thing I suggest you do is to have a good read at our website to find out what the HSS is all about, and have think about what you want - and indeed don't want - in the ceremony. 

I like to meet all my couples before confirming a booking, as that way you know who you are booking with, and I can get a feel for what might work best for you - but I am always happy to hold dates for folk until we've had a chance to meet, with no obligation to booking. 

At the meeting itself we'll talk about the mood or tone you want for your ceremony, as well as your thought and plans, and I'll chip in with ideas that might work for what you have in mind, and answer any questions you may have. 

Obviously there are times when this isn't possible, but Skype is our friend, and I sometimes send out a questionnaire to help me get to know folk better before I start writing.

After we've met, I'd ask you to get back to me within a week to confirm or cancel the booking, and if you confirm I'd ask you to send me your HSS membership number and complete an agreement form I'd send out to you. This will also outline all your legal responsibilities and specify the timings for handing any documents in to the registrars office.

I also ask for a non refundable deposit of £100, which would be deducted from the final invoice, which would be £390 (2015) for the ceremony, plus travelling expenses for myself.

Once all the paperwork is in place I'd send you a first draft of the ceremony, which we would  take it in turns to work on, until it's exactly the way you want, be that three or ten drafts! 

I don't always send drafts out straight away, as I think if I send it out a year before the wedding you'll be bored with it by the time the big day comes round, so we would agree when it would work best for you to have it.  

You are of course free to write the first draft yourselves if you would prefer that, and I always emphasise that the more changes you make the better - and more 'yours' - it will be.

You can find further information on what might be in the ceremony on the 'A Humanist Wedding?' page, however you should note that there will be no religious content at all, no hymns, prayers or bible readings. You are free though to make the ceremony as individual as you like, as well as incorporating the legal part of the proceedings. 

I would charge if you decide to have a rehearsal as well, but they are not often needed, as the ceremony script will have lots of stage directions on it, and we will discuss the setting and layout of the proceedings when we meet. 

If we are not meeting the week or so before the ceremony we will chat on the phone to make sure everything is as you want it to be, and any last minute questions or confirmations are sorted out. 

On the day itself I would normally be at the venue an hour before we are due to start, with copies of all the readings, the liquid ink fountain pen we have to use and my blotting pad. I'll check that the legal paperwork is all in order and liaise with photographers and chat with readers, and generally make sure everything is going to plan. 

It is very rare that I have more than one wedding in a day, and if I do both couples will be aware of the fact, but as a rule ceremonies like that will be several hours apart, so it should not put undue pressure on the 'first' couple of the day...however, I do always encourage couples to be on time for their guests sake! 

After the ceremony I will always make sure that the Marriage Schedule (that's the legal paperwork we sign on the day) is somewhere safe, and that the couple know where it is.

I usually take photos after the ceremony, and add them to my collection, and like to show some of them here on my blog too, but only if you are happy for me to do so...it can be nice to have one or two from your photographer as well...as sadly the keyboard rather than the camera is my forte!

I hope this helps you get an idea of how I work, and as ever I'd be very happy to answer any questions you have, so please just drop me a line.