Building your Wedding

Each ceremony I do is written for and with the couple, so ceremonies tend to vary quite widely, both in content and duration. However, there are some pretty consistent elements:
 
Welcome and introductions - who, what, why, where, how, and when. Like all the elements of the ceremony, this would be personalised, so you would add in special welcomes to folk who have changed their holiday dates to be there, or missed a music festival for your sake, or are expecting a baby? The tone here can help set the mood for the day.

Readings - non religious readings >and poems, usually scattered throughout the ceremony, and usually read by guests...again this can be personalised: why you chose the poem, the reader and special thank-you's can be fun too.
 
Vows - I expect all my couples to write their own, but would give you lots of examples to work from.
 
Rings - Another traditional element here>: are you both having rings? Again you can speak of their meaning as you exchange them, or make your vows as you do so.
 
Signing the register - this is where we all sign the legal paperwork - or a commemorative document in a non-legal ceremony - which only takes a moment...or a lot longer if the photographer gets excited.
 
Symbolic Gestures - there are a lot of these as options, and most couples will include one or more in their ceremony, and we would chat about this together but the list can include>: binding the hands together in a hand fasting; clasping the rings in your hands as you say your vows, so they are made 'on' the rings; lighting individual candles at the start of the ceremony, then a unity candle together at the end; sharing a 'quaich' (a silver/wooden two handled drinking vessel) with each other, then among the guests....the list really is almost endless. 

Past, Present & Future - this is often one of the highlights of the ceremony, speaking about who you are as a couple, where you have been, where you are in your lives right now, and what you are looking forward to in the future...It doesn’t have to be me that reads it either...maybe one of your friends could tweak it and put it in their own words and read it for us? Which can be a nice way of including another friend or family member in the ceremony too.
 

Thoughts on Marriage - Humanists don't have a rule book that says how a marriage ought to be, and it can be a nice idea to share your own thoughts on what your marriage means to you...again a very personal aspect to the proceedings and the process can help you to write your vows!! 

Song - This is not for everyone, and is only going to work if your friends are prepared to ‘go for it’ a bit, especially if it is a smaller gathering, but it can be great fun too, and really give the ceremony a great atmosphere from the start, or give it a great lift off at the end.