Even saying why you’ve chosen both the readers and the readings can add a lot to your ceremony... for yourselves, for your guests, for your readers themselves or even for the way the whole ceremony comes together on the day...
To my mind there are four main reasons to have readings:
- To include more folk in your day
- To break up the voice of the celebrant going on and on and on...
- To use poems to express ideas or thoughts on life, love or friendship more eloquently than most of us are able!
- To change the mood or tone of the ceremony.
Breaking those down:
Including more folk in your day
Folk are usually honoured to be asked to do a reading, even if they are a bit nervous!- It can be a nice way of including family who are not part of the wedding party...or perhaps a very good friend who missed out on the bridesmaid cut?
- You can let them choose what they want to say themselves, or maybe pick a piece that you think will work well for them. For instance, I always love a nursery teacher reading 'The Lovely other Dinosaur', they can do the whole ‘story time’ thing perfectly!
- You could even let them keep their reading a secret from you - but that will depend very much on how much you trust your friends! I would still want to know in advance, but I'm happy to keep a secret too....
- One of my 'only half-joking’ rules is that only drama students and English teachers should be allowed to read Shakespeare out loud! It really is grim when done badly, as Burns can be at times too -- though you could go for the comedy aspect there! -- but read well? Either can be absolutely beautiful and really add to the occasion.
Breaking up the voice of the celebrant going on and on and on...
I try quite hard to make sure that there is never too long a stretch of just me saying the things that I’ve written. No matter how important or interesting what I’m saying is, folk will just tune out after a wee while, so having someone else step in, break it up, and introduce a new ‘voice’ to keep up interest is a good thing. This is obviously less of an issue in a very short ceremony, but worth bearing in mind…Using poems to express ideas or thoughts on life, love or friendship
It is useful to spend time thinking about what you might want to say to (or even about) your guests, as well as what mood, tone or atmosphere you want to set for the day. Readings can really help you do that. You'd like the readings to be all daft? All philosophy? All song lyrics? All from one book or writer or theme? A mix from several different sources? Go for it! I have had two keen gardeners’ sow their ceremony with plant readings, and I’ve heard four readings about trees during a ceremony in the woods…You can of course write yours yourselves (to each other?) or have talented friends write for you.
I usually send out a poetry and reading collection to my couples to give them ideas, but that does not mean that you have to choose from that collection. There is so much amazing material out there, and I really recommend that you have good rummage about and see what you can find.
The web is great, but in my experience the first 20 or so on every website are pretty much the same, so a trip to the poetry section of the local library might bring some less well known but more appropriate or interesting selections to the fore.
Most of all, though, I’d advise making sure that the readings are all suited to you in some way or another. Suddenly coming over all hearts and flowers when you’re usually all beer and mountain bikes can feel a bit fake and, as with all aspects of the ceremony, the more ‘you‘ it is, the better it will be and the more your family and friends will appreciate your efforts.
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