What is a Humanist?

Early in 2020 the Humanist Society Scotland (HSS) received funding from Young Humanists International to create a short animation that explored that very question...

...and with the help of young Scottish humanists and the expertise of the animators at DaySix, they came up with a pretty good answer! 

Definitely worth a couple of minutes of your time to watch it - so you can give your guests the breakdown when they ask... and of course, if you use social media share far and wide!

When Weddings Move...

 Kirsten & Mark 10.10.20

   

Mark & Kirsten had originally picked an excellent date & unique venue out in the wilds of Perthshire at Fortingall Village Hall for their celebrations...but as with many things this year, everything kept changing. 

But at the end of all the to-ing and fro-ing they decided that the important thing was to actually get themselves married, and with that settled - and a teeny tiny gathering the only option at the time - a wedding MUCH closer to home in a place that was deeply meaningful to them was the obvious answer. 

We gathered in the sun on the Pentland Hills up above Swanston, after an easy 15 minute walk - or in Gran June's case, as hurl in a golf buggy

It was frankly blissful to be out there, windy, sunny and autumnal, with the amazing view north over the Firth of Forth.

The ceremony was simple & heartfelt, with readers from either end of the guests age range, and the occasional bemused passers by snapping a picture.

Mark & Kirsten have also planned a hooly for next year up at Fortingall as they originally planned, and they will get the frock & kilt out again, and relive some of the memories of the 'real' wedding, while celebrating their first anniversary with a wider group of their kith & kin.

If circumstances allow, I will be there too, and lead a second ceremony where we can have the readings again, and they can exchange their weddings rings and vows once more, and celebrate in a way closer to the Scottish tradition of Weddings - and to what they had originally imagined.

WARNING. I'm going to be corny now: 

It wasn't what they planned. It wasn't what they had imagined. But it was perfect. and it was perfect not because of where we were, or who was there or not there, or what I said, or what they said.

It was perfect because Mark & Kirsten love each other and got married to one another.

...and next years ceremony will be perfect too - because they will be even MORE married to each other.

~~~

                                                                                                                                         20.10.20

"Hi Jane,

We got back yesterday from a wonderful week-long break starting in Torridon and ending in a cabin with a hot tub near Nairn. We got lucky with the weather (again!) and managed to bag our first 3 Munro's as husband and wife!

We absolutely loved every minute of our wedding day and both agree that the ceremony was the highlight. Although we both started out imagining a big party, our forced change of plans now feel like a blessing in disguise as the intimate ceremony just felt so personal and perfect. So, thanks for all your effort in helping make it so special!"

 

 

 Picture below by Carley Buick Photography

Covid Chronicles; The Postponed Wedding

                                                            Jane Bechtel

                                                                                    Humanist Celebrant

Humanist Society Scotland

13.05.2020

Obviously, my working life mostly revolves around wedding couples.

I meet them and hear their stories, find out who they are; who their families and friends are, and how they imagine their wedding day will feel.

This may be as much as two years before their chosen date.

A date chosen so all their family can be there, from other countries, continents, deployments or shifts.

A date that might mark the anniversary of sadly passed but much loved grandparents, whose wedding bands this young couple will exchange 60 years to the day since they were last used to embody new marriage vows pledged between young lovers.

A date where their carefully chosen local venue, favourite band, photographer, piper, caterer and celebrant are all free, all excitedly booked, all prep'ed, able and willing to make this pivotal day in their lives as special and as representative of who they are as a couple, as we possibly can.

A date on which they can not now get married.

For guests a wedding is coming together, celebrating life, love, family & friends. Shared joy in the love that two people - we love - have found.

Fun & chat, too much drink & food, an excuse to buy a frock, get our hair done up - or let it down...and maybe for some guests moving a wedding it is not much more than the unfortunate postponement of a party when there are far more important things to think about.

But for many couples it is much more than a party that they have lost this year.

My couples tell me about not only how their wedding will be, but what they are looking forward to in the life and marriage that will follow that day, a day they are so excited about and that they just cannot wait for.

They have thought long and hard about what is important to them not just on that day, but in the future too, and written their vows accordingly. They have considered how to include their children or parents in their ceremony. They have poured over plans and saved their money, been measured for outfits, and had a countdown clock on their fridge for the ‘Big Day’...a big day that will not now be as they imagined.

A much anticipated marker of the joy in their lives has shifted and is forever changed. A date now marked by stress over whether or not it can go ahead? and if they do move it – when will be safe? Might it have to move again?

…and saddest of all, will there be guests who will now never get to share that long imagined moment with them, and whose absence may change everything about how they will feel about their Wedding Day. 
The original day & their new one.

I cried a little on the 9th of May. 
The couple I should have been marrying that afternoon shared a film with me compiled of clips from all their friends and family, to remind them that they are loved - and by more than just each other - and that the loss they were feeling that day was not forgotten or unimportant, no matter what else might be going on in the world.

Such warmth in that gesture. Such kindness in acknowledging that while others might be in more difficult circumstances, that does not make your feelings about your now strangely empty day any less valid.

None of us truly know how folk are dealing with what is happening in their lives, especially just now, so be kind whenever the opportunity arises.