When Weddings Move...

 Kirsten & Mark 10.10.20

   

Mark & Kirsten had originally picked an excellent date & unique venue out in the wilds of Perthshire at Fortingall Village Hall for their celebrations...but as with many things this year, everything kept changing. 

But at the end of all the to-ing and fro-ing they decided that the important thing was to actually get themselves married, and with that settled - and a teeny tiny gathering the only option at the time - a wedding MUCH closer to home in a place that was deeply meaningful to them was the obvious answer. 

We gathered in the sun on the Pentland Hills up above Swanston, after an easy 15 minute walk - or in Gran June's case, as hurl in a golf buggy

It was frankly blissful to be out there, windy, sunny and autumnal, with the amazing view north over the Firth of Forth.

The ceremony was simple & heartfelt, with readers from either end of the guests age range, and the occasional bemused passers by snapping a picture.

Mark & Kirsten have also planned a hooly for next year up at Fortingall as they originally planned, and they will get the frock & kilt out again, and relive some of the memories of the 'real' wedding, while celebrating their first anniversary with a wider group of their kith & kin.

If circumstances allow, I will be there too, and lead a second ceremony where we can have the readings again, and they can exchange their weddings rings and vows once more, and celebrate in a way closer to the Scottish tradition of Weddings - and to what they had originally imagined.

WARNING. I'm going to be corny now: 

It wasn't what they planned. It wasn't what they had imagined. But it was perfect. and it was perfect not because of where we were, or who was there or not there, or what I said, or what they said.

It was perfect because Mark & Kirsten love each other and got married to one another.

...and next years ceremony will be perfect too - because they will be even MORE married to each other.

~~~

                                                                                                                                         20.10.20

"Hi Jane,

We got back yesterday from a wonderful week-long break starting in Torridon and ending in a cabin with a hot tub near Nairn. We got lucky with the weather (again!) and managed to bag our first 3 Munro's as husband and wife!

We absolutely loved every minute of our wedding day and both agree that the ceremony was the highlight. Although we both started out imagining a big party, our forced change of plans now feel like a blessing in disguise as the intimate ceremony just felt so personal and perfect. So, thanks for all your effort in helping make it so special!"

 

 

 Picture below by Carley Buick Photography

Lovely update from Abi & Roger

Dear Jane!

Hello - its Abi and Roger here!
You may not remember us but you married us last year at Forter Castle.

Well almost a year in a half later I finally managed to get our wedding pictures printed and as we were looking through them Roger suggested I send you a quick email just to check in and again say thank you for such a wonderful and special day!

Wow it has been a very very busy year for us since we got married.
Roger left his job and went back to university and then finished his master s and started a whole new career as an auditor working in finance!

I have been very lazy chilling at home because on the 10th July 2017 we welcomed our beautiful daughter Willow Blossom Rebecca Allum into the world ha!Attached are a few pictures.

 

Hope all is well with you and again thank you for a unforgettable magical day!

Best wishes,

Abi, Roger and Willow Allum

+++

Dear Abi, Roger and Willow,

Thank you SO much for these, just lovely, and very happy to hear you are both so happy!

I remember you very well, and have some lovely photos of you...esp' the one of you and your Dad Abi. (one of my better attempts!)

 

...and young Willow is just beautiful. Really. I might even do a wee update  on my blog if you'd be ok with me using her picture? 

 

Enjoy every second of  your time with her, and thank you so very much for thinking to write to me - I'll have BIG smiles on all day now! xxxxxx   J

 

 

 

Murthly Castle: Max & Hannah

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

I'm very excited to share these pictures, and had a hard time choosing as you can see...While the actual ceremony was in Murthly Castle Chapel, with the reception in a Triple Tepee in the walled garden there, the Brides Team got ready at Eastwood House, and the Grooms Team got ready at Dunkeld House - so between them they covered almost all my most local venues...in fact a few photos over at the Hermitage would have completed the set!

Anyway, the Chapel is amazing in many ways...the colours, the history, the artworks, the positive feel of the place, and indeed the family who care for it and by whom it is still used by as a place of worship, as well as allowing Humanist's like myself to conduct ceremonies there.

...and although I've conducted several over the years, I have so far failed spectacularly to get any decent photos...So Hannah sending these through and saying I can take my pick pretty much made my day, and I couldn't wait to get them up here! 

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

 Hannah & Max fell in love with the place on their first speculative visit, and wanted to get all the family and friends away from the usual haunts in Edinburgh for the celebrations.

They'd been together for over 10 years already, and are very close to all of each others families and friends, so there weren't going to be any awkward introductions or quiet tables at the meal, and that familiarity also meant that they felt comfortable enough to be absolutely themselves, and pretty relaxed - even in all their finery, and standing in front of everyone.

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

Who says veils don't work on windy days? Depends what you want to use them for!

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

In contrast to the drama of the setting the ceremony itself was elegantly simple and flowed beautifully, with a string quartet playing and particularly lovely readings, but no handfasting, candles or anything...just beautiful words about Hannah & Max themselves, their lives together and their friends and families...and several teasing mentions of their devotion to food!

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

 The vows were simple but heartfelt too, borrowed from the work of Bertrand Russell

Today I marry my Best friend,

The one I have laughed and cried with,

The one I have learned from and shared with,

The one I have chosen to support, encourage,

And give myself to, 

Through all the days given us to share.

Today I marry the one I love.

Thank you for letting me share a few glimpses of your day guys, and my very best wishes for the future.

Links below to the Venue at Murthly Estate and to the Photographer, Ricky Baillie

Photographs by Ricky Baillie

http://www.rickybaillie.com/edinburgh-wedding-photographer-ricky-baillie-latest-weddings-blog/


http://www.murthly-estate.com/

Leah & Andrew. Pratis Barn, Fife

I really loved this day with all the Livingston and Dalton clans, some of whom I've got to know well over the years I've been doing ceremonies...and with the sense of humour & relaxed approach these two had, it was always going to be one of the funny ones! Great live music from Chris Smith that day too.

 "For us a Humanist ceremony was important as we wanted our special day to be about us and the story of how we met and began our journey to becoming husband and wife.

Not only did the Humanist ceremony allow us to do this but it also allowed us to include our family and friends and those who played a part in our story, making our ceremony all the more precious and personal to us."

photos by andy alan

Jan & Ruth ~ Newport on Tay ~ September 2016

Thank you very much!  It was a beautiful day for all of us. 

Everything went to plan, and everybody had a brilliant time. The ceremony went brilliantly, everybody really enjoyed the personal touches, and the weather certainly played its part too. 

We couldn't have wished for anything more. A big thank you to you!!

Melissa & Michael ~ Leng Memorial Chapel ~ September 2016

 

 

 

Allan & Sally ~ Atholl Palace, Pitlochry

"Our  humanist celebrant was Jane Bechtel, 

we loved her on our first meeting 

 as she was so laid back 

so it set the mood from the get go."

Marc & Jordan - August 2016

Our grooms: Marc and Jordon! 

With hand-painted 'tux' glasses. (All the guests

got one.  Not just for the fizz, but to take home, too.)

Centre stage was the cake...surrounded by 

the Groomsmaids' bouquets.  The ladies looked 

amazing, all dressed in black, their flowers

setting the rainbow-colour theme.

 

The ultimate village hall transformation, 

each table in one of the theme colours.  

Talk about attention to detail!

Jamie & Sarah ~ August 2016

Hi Jane, 

Really a heartfelt thank you from both of us on the ceremony, so many people were really touched at how personal and fitting it was and you brought a great sense of fun and calmness to the whole proceedings,  as well as some great adaptability to the weather!! And of course managing to help Sarah through her vows without the dreaded tears! 

Thanks again for helping us make it such a special ceremony which really set a great tone for a fabulous, and a little wild party to follow! 

Jamie & Sarah.

Rachael & Mark ~ April 2016 ~ Dunkeld House Hotel

Jen and Craig ~ 20 May 2016 ~ Huntingtower Hotel, Perth

Craig's Vows

Jen, I love you

From the tips of my toes

to the ever decreasing hairs on my head

I love how you accept me for who I am

How you are kind and gentle

How you suport and encourage me

How you challenge and inspire us

You are the Leia to my Han

The Belle to my Beast

The angel to my cake

You are the first person I think of when I wak

The last person I think of when I go to slepp

I vow to love you when it's easy and love you more when it's not

I vow to stand by your side for our amazing journey through life

I vow to be the man you deserve

Jen's Vows

Craig, you drive me mental.

Your untidiness makes me want to pull my hair out,

Your podcasts make me want to scream,

And your casual desregard for punctuality makes me want to smack my head off a wall.

But despite all of this, I happen to love you very much.

I love the way you always know how to make me laugh.

Your constant optimism is infectious and

Your love of life is unquestioning. 

You always see the good in people,

And you always see the best in me.

Not a day goes by when I don't thank my lucky stars that we met.

The last three years have been the happiest of my life,

And I love you more and more as each day passes.

You make my life complete.

I promise to support and encourage you in all that you do,

And to love you for the rest of my days...

...To infinity and beyond.

Together:

Do you promise to share your lives with each other;

To love and protect each other;

And to always be supportive and understanding?

"We do."

Do you promise to be trusting and honest;

To comfort and encourage each other

In times of sickness and in health,

Whatever the future may hold

From this day forward?

"We Do"

...and to all our guests, today, do you, their friends and family who have loved and supported them in the past, offer your blessing for Jen and Craig's marriage, promising to support and encourage them in their lifelong commitment to each other?  If you agree, please say, "We do."

"We do."

Atholl Palace ~ 1 August 2015

The Hermitage, Dunkeld

Marrying friends is always going to be special for any celebrant, and I was truly delighted when Crispin & Paula asked me to conduct their extra select wedding at the Hermitage in Dunkeld. With only 3 couples and their kids as guests, it was among the most personal weddings I've ever been part of....

Each of the guests had a job to do in the ceremony, whether that be doing a reading, or taking over a part of the ceremony that is more usually done by me...but when the story of a couple, their lives together and the years that have gone by is written & read by someone who was there the night they met, it can only be more personal & meaningful than anything I could have written.

They did everything their own way, and added twists and ideas I've never thought of...they had chosen to have a secret "Why I love you" bit in the ceremony and Paula went above and beyond the call of duty (!) by composing & declaring hers with the aid of a heap of carefully ordered Love Heart sweets, kept safe in a mini Tupperware box, that said it all for her.


The tie they used for their hand fasting was amazing too...it was woven ribbon, but they had added all sorts of bits and pieces from around their home to it as well: toys representing their family life, and bits and bobs from both their working lives as well as contributions from the kids....and speaking of the kids, when I asked them to pose for the shot, they really outdid themselves!
 

 All the Young Dudes!

Andrea & Tom ~ Atholl Palace ~ November 2015

As you might know, Humanists don't have a book of rules that says what a marriage should be, understanding that each marriage is as individual as the couple who are making it their own.  For Andrea and Tom, marriage means:

Accepting one another, in his or her entirety, as a lover, companion and friend.  It means caring and working for each other so that each feels loved, safe and secure.

It means to give your support, patience, and try your best to be understanding (not always easy!).

Being there for each other when the other needs it the most.  Helping with Architect exams!

It means putting a cold face cloth on Tom's head when he has a migraine...or is hungover.

Best of all, this marriage will signify a union of two amazing families, with plenty "character" (Jack's 'irn bur' kilt) and a lot of love to give.

 In committing themselves to each other in marriage, Andrea and Tom will share laughter and tears, joy and sadness...they will not belong to each other, but will belong with each other.

 They each understand that the commitment they are making today will require hard work and sacrifice on both sides, that their voyage through life together will sometimes be calm and may sometimes be story, but they know now that their love for each other will see them through.

Atholl Palace, September 2015

Elizabeth & Brent ~ Lands o' Loyal Hotel, Alyth ~ August 2015

Lizzy and Brent were very, VERY firm about how they did NOT want their wedding to be...and, despite the old world setting, did an amazing job of making the whole occasion their own and of being themselves throughout...hence Brent's total disregard for the idea that the groom should NOT stand there with his hands in his pockets!

There were a lot of laughs in the ceremony, too, and Lizzy and Brent were even brave enough to let their readers not only choose, but write, their own contributions...and let them keep them secret until the ceremony, too!

Sam and Nathan ~ Crail ~ 20 June 2015

 

The New Family! ~ Aaron, Hayley & Flynn ~ Balmakwan Coach House, Angus ~ February 2015

"Now, when I asked these two to think about what they wanted to say to each other -- and, indeed, about each other -- today, Hayley was very honest in saying that Aaron isn't really one for poems, so the ones we'll hear today have been chosen by her, but with his approval!

This first piece is amazing, and I'm delighted to be reading it for you...Hayley loves this as she thinks it's short, sweet, and embodies one of the most important things about true love: always thinking of the one you love and never what you will get in return.  We don't even know if it has a name, but we do think that it was written in the 14th Century by the Sufi philosopher 'Hafiz'.

Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,

"You owe me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.

 And we are here, today, to see these two rather nervous, but happy people joined to each other in Marriage in the ancient traditions of humanity, with a love that lights up all our lives, just by being itself..."

Hilarity at Prestonfield House ~ Vicky & Ford ~ 19 September 2014

This brave groom stood at the front and played the pipes as his bride was escorted into the Garden Room...and the sun came out soon after so we got photos outside, even if we didn't manage to have the ceremony on the lawns.  There was a lot of warmth and humour from all who spoke that day.

I have two daft but entertaining extra reasons to remember this one...there was a helicopter parked outside the hotel that would be used the next week to ferry guests to the Golf Open at Gleneagles (how the other half live!)...and, just five minutes before the ceremony started, I had to ask the groom to swap positions with me at the front of the room:  when I popped out to fix my lippy and wash my hands before the ceremony, I went to use the lovely posh hand lotion, only to have the dispenser fire it out at me sideways, and it spat out a long line down the front of my suit trousers!  No hope of getting it out before we started (it had to be dry-cleaned to get it off), so I just had to swap sides with the groom so that I could stand side-on to the guests...and it didn't look like I'd dribbled my lunch!

Annie & Donny at Kennacoil, Dunkeld

Wonderful, sunny, crazy chaotic afternoon with Annie & Donny at Kennacoil above Dunkeld. All the family in attendance and of course Winston the greyhound in his collar and tie. Good look for him. 

Some of the ceremony was literally made up as we went along, as a few things had to be left out for practical reasons, but as more elements seemed to add themselves as we went along, it wasn't a problem...the first time I've seen a handfasting done by ALL the children at the ceremony, who got to pick their own ribbons from the bag too...Molly got in there first and tied her Mum and Dad up with the skull and crossbones one!

My own photo's this time but I hope to get better ones once their photographer sorts everything out.